A Conversation With the First NPC You See in a Large City

config.style.page.font: "eb garamond/serif 20" config.style.page.color: "gray-9 on white" config.style.page.link.font: "underline" config.style.page.link.color: "gray-9" config.style.page.link.lineColor: "green-8" config.style.page.link.active.color: "green-8 on green-0" config.style.page.header.font: "20" config.style.page.header.link.font: "small caps" config.style.page.footer.font: "20" config.style.page.footer.link.font: "small caps" config.footer.right: "[[Return to the Yachts->https://derelictwizard.yachts/npc-cyoa/]]" config.footer.left: "{restart link}" -- # _A Conversation With the First NPC You See in a Large City_ You are Hildrysse, travelling adventurer, and have just arrived in Jewelhold, the capital city of the region. It is a seat of power........ *and corruption!!* The guards at the gate were gruff and extremely racist, so you killed them in a tactical real-time-with-pause combat encounter, assisted by [[your 17 companions]]. Just inside the gate, standing against the front window of a pauldronist's shop, is a young man. He has stubble, and a small scar on his chin. He is smoking an elvish clove cigarette moodily. The young man sizes you up, narrowing his eyes. "Who might you be, stranger?" [[> "An adventurer, just arrived from Mudsuffer Creek."->Adventurer ID]]\ [[> "A traveling tradeswoman."->Tradeswoman Lie]]

Your 17 companions, rapidly accumulated in the tutorial dungeon and then the tutorial village, each have a grating personality gimmick, like "downhome country racist" and "immortal lich who needs basic cultural concepts explained constantly." Unfortunately, the tactical combat encounters are balanced around a full party, so it would put you at a great disadvantage to tell the annoying companions to get lost. {back link, label: '> Back'}

tradelie: 'blacksmith' -- He finds this believable. "A smith, then. You'll have stiff competition from Sklorgox the Ore Annihilator, but you seem to be carrying a lot of high-quality stock already, so perhaps you'll come out on top." He takes a puff of his elven clove cigarette, then taps it with his finger, scattering bits of burnt leaf onto the cobblestones. "What brings you to Jewelhold?" [[> "Oh, you know. Blacksmith stuff. Gonna set up a shop, sell all my metal, and then... make new metal. And sell _that._ Lot of metal selling." ->Tradeswoman End]]

tradelie: 'farmer' -- He appears skeptical, but doesn't push it. "I suppose that zweihander is for harvesting crops, then." He takes a puff of his elven clove cigarette, then taps it with his finger, scattering bits of burnt leaf onto the cobblestones. "What brings such a humble farmer to Jewelhold?" [[> "Totally normal and routine farmer things. I'm gonna sell my vegetables, and fruits, and tender cuts of.... livestock animal."->Tradeswoman End]]

alignment: "none" -- The young man raises his eyebrows. "The trades, eh? What trade are you in?" [[> "I... make swords. From metal. The metal isn't a sword yet, and then BAM! Sword time."->Blacksmith Lie]]\ [[> "I, uh. I do a farm. I farm sometimes. The crops grow, and I farm 'em up."->Farmer Lie]]\ [[> "I lied, I'm an adventurer. I just travelled here from Mudsuffer Creek."->Adventurer ID]]

tradelie: 'none' -- "Did you, now?" He makes a facial expression that seems to be intended to look sly, but actually makes him look like a sex predator with irritable bowel syndrome. "What sorts of adventures did you get up to in the Creek?" [[> "The mayor had a secret magical apparatus in his basement that would turn extremely valuable gemstones into innocent orphan children."->Adventurer ID 2]]

The young man shifts his expression from "trying and failing to ignore his stomach gurgling and remain horny for vulnerable prey" to "someone just asked him to solve a difficult math problem." "What... Why would... I don't understand why he would have one of those. Why anyone would." [[> "When he built it he intended it to go the other direction, and convert children to valuable gems. But he fucked it up and had to keep running it in the direction it did work, to figure out how to fix it."->Adventurer ID 3]]

His face returns to normal. "Oh, that makes sense. How did you handle that?" [[> "I slew his fleshrender automatons, decapitated him, and rescued the innocent orphans. I dropped them off at the inn back at the crossroads. All their servers died in a bar fight with a drunken psychopomp, so the innkeeper and her wife were happy to have some child laborers to keep things running smoothly."->Establish Good]]\ [[> "I slew his fleshrender automatons, decapitated him, and fixed the apparatus. Do you know anyone who buys gems?"->Establish Evil]]

alignment: 'good' -- He raises his eyebrows, and smirks, but in an impressed way and not a smug way. "Truly, you are capable of great things." [[> "Oh yeah, constantly. I'll slay a triple wizard dragon, it's whatever."->Introduction]]

alignment: 'evil' -- He scrunches up his face, like he just smelled something foul while also eating several lemons. "I'm afraid I don't." [[> "That's unfortunate, I have like a dozen. They're so heavy."->Introduction]]

"Well. If you can find the time, or know any adventurers. I might have a job for you." [if tradelie === 'blacksmith'] [[> "I've never met an adventurer in my entire life. I'm not sure I even believe they exist. Nevertheless, I have lots of time while I wait for my forge to ship over, from, uh, the forge catalog."->Introduction]] [if tradelie === 'farmer'] [[> "I would never go on an adventure. Adventures are for babies. Magic babies, I guess, so they can survive them. Anyway, after I sell all my harvested things, from the ground, I might have some time."->Introduction]]

[if alignment === 'evil'] His face remains scrunched in silence for nearly a full minute, then he unscrunches slightly after realizing you are likely still useful. "Hm. Perhaps, nonetheless... Listen, my name is Shaunus Crelm, and I'm a member of the Colorful Hand. Are you familiar with our work?" [else] "My name is Shaunus Crelm, and I'm a member of the Colorful Hand. Are you familiar with our work?" [continue] [[> "Yes." [Lie]->Faction Lie]]\ [[> "Not in the slightest."->Faction Exposition]]

His face brightens with excitement. [if tradelie === "none"] "Oh-ho! Which of our works are you familiar with? How is our reputation out in the Mudsuffer region?" [if tradelie === "blacksmith"] "Oh-ho! Which of our works are you familiar with? How is our reputation among the common folk? You must meet all kinds, while purveying your metalwares." [if tradelie === "farmer"] "Oh-ho! Which of our works are you familiar with? How is our reputation among the fieldworkers and produce enjoyers?" [continue] [if tradelie === "none"] [[> "Oh, uh, I'm a huge fan of when you... Did that work. Last... month?"->Works Lie]]\ [[> "Oh, uh, they're big fans of you out there. Everyone thinks you're really good at. What you do. The things you do, and believe in."->Reputation Lie]] [else] [[> "Oh, uh, I'm a huge fan of when you... Did that work. Last... month?"->Works Lie]]\ [[> "Oh, uh, they're big fans of you. They all think you're really good at. The stuff that you do. And believe."->Reputation Lie]]

whyhand: false literal: false liesold: false -- He looks crestfallen. If he had a crest it would be shattered on the cobblestones right now, from the fall. "Well. Nevertheless, we do very good work. The Colorful Hand is an organization dedicated to the eradication of the Noirite Order, and all who practice monomancy. Monomancy is a scourge upon these lands, literally draining it of its life force." [[> "Why is it called the Colorful Hand?"->Hand Chat]]\ [[> _"Literally?"_->Literally]]

He nods with satisfaction. "Yes, when we firebombed the monomancers' monomonastery. I'm told it was a huge success. None survived." [if alignment === "evil"] [[> "Oh, nice. Yeah it's easy to forget to barricade the exits, and then you have to deal with stragglers fleeing the inferno. Messy."->Lie Resolution]] [else] [[> "That's... yeah. I was a big fan of. That."->Lie Resolution]]

"It heartens my-- It warms my heart that the people support our cause. I'm glad that they, and you, understand the need to wipe the scourge of monomancy away, using whatever means necessary." [[> "All of us understand that. What kind of idiot doesn't understand that? I'll kill them."->Lie Resolution]]

whyhand: true -- "Oh, well originally there were distinct organizations. The Indigo Hand, the Red Hand, the Mauve Hand, and the Frost Giants of Big Hand Mountain. The frost giants invited the rest of us to the Hand Summit at the summit of Big Hand Mountain, and we decided to combine forces to really take the fight to those filthy monomancers." [if literal] [[> "Those giants sound chill. Anyway, what's monomancy?"->Monomancy]] [else] [[> "You mentioned those guys. So they're _literally_ draining the land's life force?"->Literally]]\ [[> "Those giants sound chill. Anyway, what's monomancy?"->Monomancy]]

literal: true -- He breaks eye contact and looks sheepish. "Well. No. Figuratively. But it's very bad! Monomancy is very bad. Terrible. It's really putting everyone out." [if whyhand] [[> "What's monomancy?"->Monomancy]] [else] [[> "Uh-huh. So why are you called the Colorful Hand?"->Hand Chat]]\ [[> "What's monomancy?"->Monomancy]]

[if liesold] "Oh, well I suppose a quick recap would be wise." He straightens his doublet. [continue] "Monomancy is a degenerate, evil kind of magic, that is neither good nor evil, and is thus more evil than any evil in the world. The Noirite Order practices terrifying and powerful rites using their signature trenchcoats, hats, and Thomas-gonnes. It is said that anyone can wield a Thomas-gonne and its incredible destructive power, with no training or intrinsic genetic predisposition to being a wizard." [[> "I see."->Job Proposal]]

liesold: true -- "Well! That saves me the time of expositing all of this lore. I'm glad you already know who we are, and what monomancy is." [[> "I definitely do. You do not under any circumstances need to deliver lengthy exposition unto me."->Job Proposal]]\ [[> "Just in case, you should probably remind me what monomancy is. It's important to understand the, uh. The enemy. That we both share."->Monomancy]]

gotpaid: false -- He gestures for you to come closer. You stand your ground because his cigarette smells like someone wearing sleazy cologne tripped and fell into a bonfire and died. He sighs and begins his spiel anyway. "The Colorful Hand is mounting a raid tonight on the Noirite Order's branch office here in Jewelhold, in [[the Crimeslum district]]. We need you to go over there, during office hours, and deliver this package full of sleepweed. That way, when we arrive tonight, all the guards will be asleep, and we can execute them and then burn down the building." Feeling that these choices may be important, you hit F5 on your keyboard to quicksave the game. [[> \[Knowledge: Stoner\] "You know they would have to smoke the sleepweed in a drowsepipe to actually fall asleep, right?"->Stoner Ending]]\ [[> "That seems reasonable. I'll do it."->Hand Ending]]\ [[> "I could be persuaded to do that. With money."->Get Paid]]\ [[> "What would happen if, instead, I told the Order you were going to raid them?"->Stealth Order Ending]]\ [[> "I could literally just go clear the building myself. I'm really good at killing people. I do it so often. Constantly."->Violent Hand Ending]]\ [[> "I think your methods are unsound. I'm going to decapitate you now."->Violent Order Ending]]

"Excellent! I'll wait here, being moody, and principled." The raid goes kind of terribly, because the package full of sleepweed doesn't _do_ anything because the Order members didn't open and smoke it, but when it happens you are busy doing the slug race minigame at the mushroom casino. Your decision to support the Colorful Hand is ultimately irrelevant to the larger plot, aside from the grateful frost giants giving you a free set of Iridescent Gauntlets when you emerge from the Foot Caverns dungeon. {embed passage: 'Ending Meta'}

gotpaid: true -- "That seems reasonable, yes!" He hands you a big sack of gold. [[> \[Knowledge: Stoner\] "Also, you know they would have to smoke the sleepweed in a drowsepipe to actually fall asleep, right?"->Stoner Ending]]\ [[> "Hell yes. Okay, I'll be back in a jiff."->Hand Ending]]\ [[> "Sick. Hey, just hypothetically, what would happen if, instead, I told the Order you were going to raid them?"->Stealth Order Ending]]\ [[> "For this much gold I could just go clear the building myself. I'm really good at killing people. Even better while weighed down with a burlap bag of coins. I hit my victims with the coin bag sometimes, before decapitating them."->Violent Hand Ending]]\ [[> "Ha! Sucker! I'm actually going to beat you to death with this."->Violent Order Ending]]

"Oh. Well, I supposed that would save us all a lot of effort. Sure, alright." Your decision to support the Colorful Hand is ultimately irrelevant to the larger plot, aside from the grateful frost giants giving you a free set of Iridescent Gauntlets when you emerge from the Foot Caverns dungeon. {embed passage: 'Ending Meta'}

[if gotpaid] Using your sack of cash, you beat Shaunus to death in broad daylight. It takes like twenty minutes, and is incredibly gruesome. The pauldronist cowers behind the counter in his shop the entire time. Blood gets all over that front window. [else] Using your gigantic sword, you swiftly decapitate Shaunus. His severed head goes flying and shatters the window of the pauldronist's shop, landing right in the pauldronist's bowl of porridge. He sighs and leaves to get a mop. Adventurers are like that. [continue] Your decision to support the Noirist Order is ultimately irrelevant to the larger plot, aside from two slightly altered lines of dialogue in Lord Oldmoney's genocide mansion. {embed passage: 'Ending Meta'}

"What?" He looks at you first with horror, then with the look of someone who really wants to try getting high. "Hey, uh. I've never tried sleepweed. I hear things. It would be good for the, uh. It'd be research. To take back to the Hand, you know. Reaffirm our no-smoking policy. Empirically." You grin. [[> "It's your lucky day, fam."->Stoner Ending 2]]

"Oh, please don't do that. That would actually be really bad for us. The raiders might die from the enhanced defenses, and it could break morale in the entire Hand." [if gotpaid] You cackle and, sack of cash in hand, wander off to warn the Order. They give you a free Thomas-gonne, but you are terrible at aiming it and go back to doing sword decapitations. [else] You cackle and wander off to warn the Order. They give you a free Thomas-gonne, but you are terrible at aiming it and go back to doing sword decapitations. [continue] Your decision to support the Noirist Order is ultimately irrelevant to the larger plot, aside from two slightly altered lines of dialogue in Lord Oldmoney's genocide mansion. {embed passage: 'Ending Meta'}

You, your 17 companions, and Shaunus get super high, and then wander Jewelhold giggling and buying street food. Everyone, rich and poor, observes how good a time you're having, and there is a run on the Weed Bank. The weed riots are soon quelled when a wagon full of enough weed for everyone in the city arrives, pulled by a lesbian oxen couple who are also time traveling wizards. The entire city gets high, leaving a pillar of smoke visible worldwide. This causes the rest of the world to remember how nice it is to get high, and world peace is achieved. ~~**TRUE END**~~ [[> Press F9 to quickload->Job Proposal]]

[if gotpaid] You end up using the sack of cash to bribe a chambermaid to not pull the alarm cord in the Hellduke's mind control castle, and thus do not have to decapitate her with your gigantic sword. You wonder how you might have dealt with that if you hadn't been paid. [if !gotpaid && alignment === "evil"] Lacking funds to bribe a chambermaid to not pull the alarm cord in the Hellduke's mind control castle, you are forced to decapitate her with your gigantic sword. Finding this to be an enjoyable pastime, you decapitate all servants in the entire region, plunging the economy into chaos. Then you restore the economy to function by bribing new servants to immigrate, using your orphan gems. [if !gotpaid && alignment === "good"] Lacking funds to bribe a chambermaid to not pull the alarm cord in the Hellduke's mind control castle, you are forced to decapitate her with your gigantic sword. To preserve your reputation, you call in a favor with the orphans you rescued, and they help you craft an alibi for the decapitation. Several of the orphans find it so fun they start a business providing alibis to people who do decapitation murders, in exchange for large sums of money. [if !gotpaid && tradelie === "blacksmith"] Lacking funds to bribe a chambermaid to not pull the alarm cord in the Hellduke's mind control castle, you are forced to decapitate her with your gigantic sword. Overwhelmed with guilt for this, you actually do become a blacksmith. You are terrible at it, and return to adventuring with a newfound appreciation for the trades and those who work in them. [if !gotpaid && tradelie === "farmer"] Lacking funds to bribe a chambermaid to not pull the alarm cord in the Hellduke's mind control castle, you are forced to decapitate her with your gigantic sword. Overwhelmed with guilt for this, you actually do become a farmer. It's exhausting work, and you quickly give up and return to adventuring with a newfound appreciation for the trades and those who work in them. [continue] ~~**THE END**~~ [[> Press F9 to quickload->Job Proposal]]

The Crimeslum district is known for its well-kept parks and upper-middle-class housing. Luxurious Gardens, across the canal, is a district known for its plague-riddled hobo hordes and dense labyrinth of warehouses and tenements. The city planners really did not expect it to go that way. {back link, label: '> Back'}