Cycle End Review: Top 5 Most Trendcore Trends on SectorVid in 795A.Ϝ

Greetings, subscribers! In my sector subzone and possibly yours, the indelible zone clock has ticked over from 795A.Ϝ to 795A.Ͷ, and you know what that means! It means that I, Ranker Sloam, will commence ranking. The ranking will not know pity, or remorse, or fear, much like the brainwashed terror assassins of Phrontis Subzone. This guy knows what I'm talking about! Ha ha.

For our first ranking, we will address the trends that have trended upon everyone's favorite shortform, longform, microform, and macroform audiovisual content delivery platform, SectorVid🅀.^[1]

Comms franking

If your career path is in the fields of trucking, space trucking, freight teleportation, or long-distance radio arguments, you may have heard a distinctively unpleasant sound over your comms array, and I'm not talking about Spaylor Fastt's latest jangletwang single! Ha ha!

What I am referring to in truth is "comms franking," a trend wherein mischievous content creators rub a meaten tubefrank upon the microphone input of a commercial sound communications device! Pioneered by effervescent prankster Jarnald Without Jarnald, comms franking typically provokes an amusing reaction of distress from unsuspecting comms personnel. They were expecting useful information regarding their profession, and instead were startled by an unpleasant noise! Ha ha. Classic.

Ranker Sloam's Top Vids In This Trend

• "Check out this noise" by Jarnald Without Jarnald
• "The noise is back and they STILL HATE IT" by Jarnald Without Jarnald
• "Pissing off the docking personnel #lol #lmao #lmfao #roflmao #roflmfao #commsfranking" by Reginald & Gopherman Space Trucking Content Licensing Conglomerate LLC

Friethcore

As we all have heard at one time or another from our workplaces' most crass gossip purveyors, those with inadequate psychosocial traumas to function in galactic society often book a misery cruise to balance out their freakishly joyful memories. One of the most popular destinations for this is of course the Frieth Subzone, the famously harrowing realm of nightmares made manifest.

Content creators within the highly demanding genre of "skit" have found a rich vein of comedy within the concept of things outside the Frieth Subzone that evoke the Frieth Subzone, by being unpleasant! Ha ha! What a disturbing notion indeed. You might even say that such a notion is itself Friethcore! I would not, but you might. I give you permission.

Ranker Sloam's Top Vids In This Trend

• "Childhood fave horse just dragged me into its grave #terror #buriedalive #friethcore #sponsoredcontent" by Necromatik Beast Corpse Repurposing Services LLC
• "my fears are all coming true bro" by Surfmaster Craig
• "What if death WASN'T the end? Would that be fucked up or what #friethcore" by Silvaine St. Spelf

Competitive dissociation

Have you ever been working your assembly line job, working your data entry job, working your janitorial job, working your bartending job, or left alone at the meal bench to endure a conversation with your clansister's intransigent spouse? We have all been in all of these places! So we know the desire to disappear from our conscious bodies, and be in another place. To endure via escape.

Such desires are childish, for we all know that presence is necessary to react swiftly to unexpected stimuli. But content creators in the competitive dissociation community revel in this baby behavior! The fools! Ha ha! They position their mortal forms in horrific circumstances, and the winner is they who react least and slowest. Death comes to us all, and I will not turn away when I feel its cold hands around my throat. Can #compdiss champion Zorth Twice-Embodied say the same?

Ranker Sloam's Top Vids In This Trend

• "Zorth 2E vs Gorginald vs Hypervoss - Boiling Acid Pit CompDiss" by Dissociation League LLC
• "Gorginald vs Celebrox - Rabid Moon Ant Toe Chewing CompDiss" by Dissociation League LLC
• "Hypervoss FINAL COMPDISS - 12-Hour Total Body Disintegration NO VISIBLE REACTION" by Xtreme Dissociation Champs LLC

Obsessionmaxxing

Since the Fandom Riots of 769F.Ϛ, many have been loathe to self-identify by what products they consume, lest this loyalty develop into a dangerously violent cult of personality, its sociopathic members thirsty for the blood of the disloyal. But, as proven by the Strelge Subzone Massacre, the Seven Blood Purges, and the Stationring Planetfall Incident, horrific tragedy where billions die plus time equals comedy! Ha ha! And that universal law is behind the trend of critics and commentators choosing their most favored celebrity and/or brand, and devoting themselves utterly, as a bit.^[2]

TurboSheep Network's beloved podcast cohosts Sqlud and Narevok laid down the gauntlet early in the cycle with an episode documenting the construction of a solid chromatic alloy colossus modeled after former prime minister Alf, and since then no celebrity and/or brand tribute has been too large in scale! Ha ha! If anyone wants to build a moderately sized artificial moon shaped like my head, you may do so. I give you permission.

Ranker Sloam's Top Vids In This Trend

• "Episode 141: Creating the Alf Colossus" by Sqlud & Narevok Know Best
• "bout to carve jeannie mcgraw's image upon my unworthy flesh #devotionbomb #lovesplosion #obsessionmaxxing" by Country Boy Reviews
• "Blowing up the Alf colossus with stolen jumpdrive fuel cells #gottem #getfuckedcateater #colossusmorelikecolonanus" by Jarnald Without Jarnald

Fugue punting

Ever since the relegalization of mindsports a few cycles ago, the Psychic Football, Telepathic Baseball, Telekinetic Bowling, and Psychic Gridiron Football leagues have struggled to find a marketing tactic that can pierce the youth's disinterest in their weird, bad sports. No one could have expected that Psychic Gridiron Football, the most degenerate of all mindsports, would be the first!

Admiral Crendall of the Six Navies used to say that the key to his victories on the battlefield was finding numerous other people to fight the war for him, rather than fighting the war himself. So, too, have the greatest PGF players learned to simply ensnare randomly chosen pedestrians in a psionic mind prison, and bring their helpless puppetbodies to the stadium to deliver spectacular game-winning kicks. The looks on their faces when they recover their identities and look around in confusion and fear are exactly the sort of content that SectorVid🅀 consumers crave! Ha ha!

Ranker Sloam's Top Vids In This Trend

• "old granny collapses after wicked sick field goal #fuguepunting" by the Phrontis Mad Bombers
• "look at this asshole, doesnt know SHIT about psychic sports lmao #fuguepunting" by the Calydon Greased Twinks
• "'where am i?' in our stadium, IDIOT #fuguepunting" by the Trophonius Grotesque Terraforming Accident Mutants

That's all the trends that are fit to rank. Because the others were ranked, and ranked as unfit. Be on the lookout soon for my top 5 music albums, top 5 music songs, top 5 serial or single-instance fictionmedia, and top 5 immersive memory calibration neurode rinses. If this textdata node was shared with you by a subscriber, and you wish to become a subscriber yourself, you may subscribe! I give you permission.