Void Antiquity Resale Ledger, 47th week of the Ninth Undermoon's "Sobbing" phase

a page torn from an expensive factory-produced ledger

Void Antiquity Resale Ledger, 47th week of the Ninth Undermoon's "Sobbing" phase
stock image via unsplash

Big Trouble in Little China VHS board game

Obtained: Transdimensional landfill number 4, eighth hour of diving, depth 451 meters
Nature: Another lazy reskin of the 1980 board game of Alien, with the jump scare death events replaced with ill-chosen random movie clips. Had Intern #9 convert the VHS to the standard formats (DVD, scrying orb, memory frond) to increase resale possibility, since no one has a VHS player anymore outside of a few suburbs in the Plane of Stagnance.
Resold: A guy in a t-shirt with a design of MacReady from The Thing making out with Keith David (actor, not his character from The Thing, strangely) heard we had it in stock and was out of breath and wheezing when he arrived at our market stall. He said "I came as fast as I could, and also arrived as fast as I could" before paying us with a briefcase full of limited edition steelbook blu-rays of Escape From New York.

Soul shard, used

Obtained: That fucking snake Gl'Dahn the Ever-Screaming sold it to us for like twice as many suffering pearls as it was worth, because he forged an appraisal document saying it wasn't used.
Nature: A new soul shard is perfect for extracting a dead loved one or living rival's soul by piercing any two of their heartstrings with it. This thing, though, was already used for that, and then the soul that used to be trapped in it was clumsily scraped out and there are a bunch of little bits left stuck in there. Looks like a pretty nondescript traveling sales-shrub's soul. Possibly a case of mistaken identity, since shrubs are difficult to tell apart by sight and ruthless business-shrubs use this to their advantage often during schemes.
Resold: Gl'Dahn's poor mother, Clarisse the Unmartyred, has a standing offer to compensate us when her awful spawn cheats us. We hate using it but not worth finding someone else to take this.

Six-pack of vintage kingsblood, unopened

Obtained: Fourth day of weeklong garage sale visit marathon in the Endless Sprawl
Nature: This is a real find! Antimonarchists love buying these and taking them to genealomancers to identify which murdered kings contributed. Could all be from one, could be as many as 8 slain tyrants exsanguinated into these cans.
Resold: This was a fun one, the first antimonarchist tried to intimidate us with his 12-foot sword and then was instantly shot ten thousand times in the head by a rival with a pair of Orochian semi-automatic reality-reavers. The gunslinging rival paid us like fifty ingots of the reclaimed foundation of the old world, which is quite generous.


I, Zeora the Everclerk, certify that this ledger of sales is truthful, and that I would never embezzle from Big Steve's Void Antiquity Hole.

[Zeora's signature is in hot pink gel pen and has tiny hearts drawn around it]